The Thunder Rolls
by Oneturtledove
Summary: And another love grows cold on a sleepless night. Pre-series, Lindsay/Other. Possible Dantana to follow.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Not mine.

Spoilers: Too lazy to check.

A/N: This just popped into my head. I am probably taking a lot of liberties with it, and since it is pre-series and I don't explain hardly anything it might not be received that well, but give it a shot. More chapters to come.

* * *

The screen door slammed behind her and her feet slapped against the old wooden porch as she chased after him. She was cold in a sundress while the wind whipped her hair mercilessly. He was on a mission, making his way across the lawn as the thunder cracked above them.

"Cody, don't!" she hollered, her voice barely making it out of her mouth before the wind snapped it up.

"Don't what Lindsay?"

"Don't go!"

"I don't have to stay here and listen to this!"

He opened the door to his truck and got in, slamming the door behind him.

"Cody!"

The truck started and his tires spun, spitting gravel back at her before he roared out of the driveway, leaving her cold and shivering on the porch.

She cursed as loudly as she could into the air before going back inside, letting the screen slam so hard against the frame that it bounced twice. Automatically, she began to clean up the empty beer bottles that littered the coffee table, throwing them in the trash because putting them into the recycling bin just seemed too ironic. She cleaned up the dishes he'd thrown on the floor, glad they were plastic and not broken. She moved the couch back to where it had been, righted the chairs and replaced their wedding picture on the wall. The glass had been broken out of that several outbursts ago.

They'd been getting worse lately. She knew what set him off, and she knew to tread lightly, but he didn't always follow his usual M.O. He drank too much and it happened before she could diffuse it. Had he been anyone else, she would have left him long ago, but the fact of the matter was that they needed each other. She really did love him, even when the alcohol made him crazy, even when he yelled so loud her ears started ringing, even when he called her names that no one should ever have to hear. He was her first crush, her first love, her first everything. She couldn't just forget that.

She picked up the pieces of the coffee mug from where it had landed on the floor after she had thrown it at his head. He wasn't the only one yelling tonight. She'd fought back making it impossible for him to recover from his rage, and this time it was her fault too. She'd challenged things he had said, swiped his beer out of his hand and poured it down the sink screaming at him the whole time.

This was not the life she had imagined when that battered wedding picture had been taken on that warm summer day just a few years ago. No one had believed in them. They all warned her to wait until she was older, wait until they had better jobs, wait until they knew for sure that they wanted to be together. But they didn't listen. And that first year had been perfect. Morning make-out sessions, afternoon phone calls, evenings by the fire or out on the porch, just enjoying each other's company. She knew exactly when things went bad, and she knew exactly why, but there wasn't any going back now. They'd brought too much baggage into this marriage, some of their own, and some they had crafted together. It wasn't the ideal way to start off and she kicked herself daily for being so arrogant.

She finished cleaning up what remained of their dinner, putting the dishes into the sink because doing them tonight just wasn't an option. She moved the clean laundry over to the dryer and slammed it shut, then walked into the bedroom, changing her sundress for one of his long flannel shirts and sliding into bed. He'd be back in a few hours, drunk and sorry and she would see the pain in his eyes and she would scoot over and open her arms to him and he would slide in beside her and they would either cry together or lay silently until sleep took them away.


	2. Chapter 2

The heat of the day was only rivaled by the heat of contention blowing through the small house. It was another fight and this time it was worse. This time she was running off at the mouth in a way she never had before, calling him names, screaming that he was wrong, that he was useless, taking all her aggression of the past two years, the past five years out on him. He screamed back at her, following her into the bedroom, slamming the door behind them, kicking a laundry basket at her.

"Stop it Cody! Knock it off. You're the one who screwed up, and I'm the one who gets to be mad. Amy Cook? Really? You sleep with her and then you're mad at me?"

"It's my life Lindsay!"

"I'm your wife! You cheated on me and you think that's okay? You think I should just accept it and let it happen? I can't believe you, Cody! How impossibly weak do you have to be to do something like that?"

"Shut up, Lindsay!"

"Don't tell me to shut up!" she screamed, taking the phone off the night table and throwing it at him. It crashed against the wall, but her aim was getting better.

"I said shut up!"

He lunged at her, pinning her to the bed. She tried to kick against him but he had her almost immobile. She felt like her heart was stopping as she looked up at him, amazed that this was actually happening.

"I said _shut up_," he whispered, his breath reeking of alcohol. She squirmed underneath him, wishing she could maneuver just a little bit, just one second so she could get the upper hand.

"Get off of me, Cody. You're drunk."

They stared at each other for several minutes before he finally let her go.

"You're a real piece of work, you know that, Cody?" she growled, standing up from the bed and heading for the door. "I don't even want to look at you right now."

"I didn't say you could go."

"Screw you."

She headed out the front door towards the truck, making it to the door before he caught her.

"Where do you think you're going Lindsay?"

"Home until you sober up."

"Your home is here."

"Maybe I don't want it to be anymore."

She opened the door and started to climb inside, but he grabbed her wrist and pulled her out again.

"Stop it!"

"You're coming inside right now."

"You're hurting me Cody."

"Get inside!"

His hand was tightening on her wrist, twisting and almost certainly leaving a mark. She tried to pull away, but that only made the pain worse, so she did what her brothers had taught her years before. She thrusted the heel of her other hand right into his nose. He let go of her immediately and his hands went to his face while she jumped into the truck and took off.

It was nice to spit gravel at him for once, look in the rearview mirror and watch him get smaller and smaller, pound her foot against the gas pedal, take corners without slowing and turn the radio up to an ear shattering level. It was cathartic and she hated that she was the one always stuck at home cleaning up after him. This felt so much better.

She drove for a few minutes, trying to figure out where to go. Any of her brothers would certainly let her stay, but she would be subject to hours of "Told ya so's" and she wasn't really in the mood. She thought about going to the bar, but quickly decided against it. She couldn't berate him for being a drunk, then drink away the pain of him being a drunk and end up getting drunk herself.

That left her with only one option, and she soon stopped the car outside her parent's house. Taking a deep breath and rubbing her now throbbing wrist, she got out of the truck and headed up the porch. She could smell dinner cooking and if she closed her eyes, she was fourteen years old, coming home from track practice and sitting down at the table with the family, stealing rolls from her brother's plates and hoping to get the biggest piece of pie.

She pushed the front door open and found her parents sitting in the living room, each with a section of the newspaper in hand.

"Hi sweetheart," Anne said, looking up from her paper. "Did we know you were coming?'

"No, I'm a surprise."

"What's the matter, shorty?" Dale asked, folding his paper up and putting it on the coffee table. She sat down next to him and leaned into his hug, taking a deep breath for the first time since Cody had walked through the door earlier in the evening.

"Can I crash here tonight?"

"What happened?" Anne asked as she joined them on the couch.

"We had a fight," Lindsay answered, staring across the room. "I just need some time away."

"Is everything going to be okay?"

"I think so," she lied, tucking her hair behind her ear.

"What is that?" Anne asked, reaching out to touch her daughter's arm.

Her wrist had turned a dark shade of purple and had started to hurt quite a bit. She couldn't look up at her parents so she sat staring at it, moving it gently even though it hurt.

"I… we were fighting. He didn't mean to."

Even as she spoke the words, she knew they weren't true. Maybe he hadn't meant to leave a mark, maybe he hadn't even meant to grab her. But he had meant to hurt her. The one person in the world that was never supposed to hurt her, the one person who was always supposed to be on her side, to love her, to cherish her always. She'd spent long enough on him, making his excuses, ignoring his moods and problems and trying to hard to make him happy. But she couldn't do it anymore. She couldn't become a better person and do what she wanted with her life if he was draining everything out of her. She loved him, but that didn't take away the scars and that didn't do anything for her in return. She needed something else. Not to run away, but to grow. And she couldn't do that while he was dragging her hither tither and yon.

She'd go back to him and she would fight for him and fight for them for all she was worth, but in the back of her mind, she knew how this was going to end; tears, hurt, divorce. She could feel it coming, just like the dark clouds that were rolling in from the west. It was inevitable, but she would fight it until she couldn't fight anymore.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Last chapter a few years later. Thanks for reading if you did.

* * *

"Aw, what is that smell?" Danny complained as he walked into the lab.

"That would be our dear hobbit friend Adam being terribly imprecise with his chemicals," Lindsay answered. Adam just shrugged and continued to work.

"I can't handle this. I've gotta get out of here."

"Adam, why do you do these things?" Stella asked, crossing her arms over her chest as she leaned against the door.

"Sorry?"

"I guess we're going to have to leave to eat lunch," Danny decided, checking his watch.

"Hey yeah. And Lindsay owes me lunch."

"Shut up, Adam."

"Never bet against me in a Mario Kart setting. You will pay."

"Bite me, Chuckles."

"You shook on it. What, Cowgirl gonna back down?"

She sighed and gave him a grumpy face before throwing her hands up in the air.

"Fine! But I am never, ever betting with you again."

"Maybe you just need to practice that shortcut more often."

"Danny, Stella, are you guys coming? If I'm left alone in the car with him, you might not see him again."

"I guess we do kind of need him around," Danny remarked. Stella nodded in agreement and the four of them headed out of the building to the parking garage.

"Shottie!" Danny called as they approached Lindsay's car.

"Bad move, man," Adam said, shaking his head. "Don't you know the rule?"

"What rule?"

"You call shottie in Lindsay's car, you have to sit in the back."

"Montana, is this true?"

"Very."

He sighed and slid into the back seat where Stella already sat smirking at him.

"I can't believe you didn't know that rule," she whispered. "Haven't you ever ridden with Lindsay before?"

"No."

"Well get ready. Sometimes she still thinks she's in a state with no speed limit."

"Which is why you sat in the back."

"And behind her. A driver always protects their side in a crash."

"Does she know you're talkin' like this, Stell?"

"Yeah, but she rode with me once, and you know how I drive."

"Crazy women."

Stella just shrugged as Lindsay reached over and slapped Adam's hand.

"Don't change my presets! I don't want to have to tell you again."

"I was just picking a station. Geez."

"You're not making me listen to Afro Man again, Adam."

"You're mean."

She rolled her eyes, pulling the car out of the parking garage, and soon they were slowly making their way out of the city. Danny and Stella laughed to themselves as Lindsay and Adam sang along with the radio. Lindsay sang the low parts and Adam sang the high parts and it really seemed like this was a common occurrence.

"Hey Montana, lemme ask you a question."

"Shoot."

"Exactly how many pairs of cowboy boots do you need in the back of your car?"

"Four," she said, as if the answer should have been obvious.

"Why four?"

"One is an all the time pair, one is for mucking out the stables, one is for working in the field, and the other is an extra. Some people have one more if they go out dancing a lot, but I keep those in the bottom of my closet."

"I hate to break it to you Montana, but you're in New York now. We don't got stables here."

"They've been useful at muddy crime scenes. Don't question me, Messer."

"You just got told," Stella whispered. Danny shot her a look.

Lindsay had been back from Montana for a little over a week now, and Danny had noticed a change in her. She'd always been positive and smiling, but now he could see it in her eyes. As soon as she had stepped off that witness stand, it looked like a weight had been lifted from her. She laughed a lot easier now and he'd been enjoying simply watching her.

She had the air conditioning on and it was blowing her curls back from her face. Her eyes were brighter in the sunlight, and he could practically see her rebuilding herself after so many years of trying to protect her heart. He was proud of her, almost bursting at the seams at how brave she had been to sit up in that witness stand and stare down the man who had ruined her life. He'd wanted to tell her that too, but hadn't found the right time.

* * *

"Hey Danny, I had another weird dream last night," Lindsay said as she stole a fry off of his plate.

"Weird creepy or weird funny?"

"Kind of both," she answered as he took a cucumber slice off of her salad. They'd been sharing their dreams for a while now. Hers often went into more detail than his, and always seemed to be mundane with a twist.

"We all had to go to this seminar on public speaking, so we could be more effective in front of a jury. Sid had been in the hospital or something, and he was there with us, but he was wearing a hospital gown."

"Is that the creepy?"

"That's the start of the creepy. So anyway, we're all sitting there and the seminar guy brings out this plastic kiddie slide and tells us that we all have to tell a joke, then go down the slide. And of course no one wants to do it, so finally Sid jumps up from his seat and says "I have a joke!" and he runs up there, stands at the top of the slide and shouts "I'm not wearing underpants!" and then goes down the slide."

"I think there is something wrong with you if you're dreaming about Sid without underwear," Stella said, taking a drink of her iced tea and shaking her head.

"That's not even the best part. After he gets back to his seat, Mac stood up and said "There is no way I am going down that slide now!" and ran out of the room."

Stella snorted with laughter while Adam almost shot Pepsi out his nose.

"Oh Montana, just to be inside your head for a little while."

"It's a wild jungle full of scary gibberish," she replied with a smile. "We should probably get back soon."

They all nodded and left money on the table for the check and the tip, then left the restaurant. Lindsay shoved Adam off the sidewalk as they approached the car and he retaliated by smacking her arm. They were like brother and sister, in definite need of a time out.

"Is there any song the two of you don't know?" Stella asked once the car was out in traffic and Lindsay and Adam had started to sing along with the radio again.

"Between the two of us? Probably not," Lindsay answered.

"Music makes the people come together. Yeah," Adam added. Danny caught the look that passed between him and Lindsay and could tell something was going on.

"Don't tell 'em all the truth," Lindsay responded finally. Adam grinned and pumped his arm in victory, though Stella and Danny couldn't figure out why.

"I'm sorry for the person I became."

"I liked you better when you lied, and I forgive you for being you."

"Better days are on the way my friend."

"Well, I just can't wait to be king."

"It's time for me to face that perfect day."

"I'm searching my soul to do what I'm called to do."

"You'll be in my heart, from this day on, now and forever more."

"I want to thank you for giving me the best day of my life."

Stella and Danny looked at each other, brows furrowed in confusion.

"What the heck are they talking about?" Stella whispered as Lindsay and Adam continued to say nonsensical things to each other.

"I think they're playin' that game where you only can talk in song titles and lyrics. I can't quite follow the conversation, but I think they're talkin' about Lindsay bein' the king and Adam bein' her court jester."

"Oh. Makes sense."

"She's into superstitions, black cats _and_ voo-doo dolls!" Lindsay said, in what was supposed to be an exasperated tone.

"Are you gonna be my girl?"

"And what you wished for won't come true."

"My broken heart is so in need."

"I hate the way I feel tonight, and I know I need you in my life."

"Love is a battlefield," Adam responded with a shrug.

"I'm sorry, so sorry that I was such a fool."

"Love don't live here anymore."

"Please forgive me, I know not what I do."

"Everything will be alright, rockabye."

"You make me smile," she said, parking the car back in the parking garage. They all got out of the car and made their way inside, Lindsay and Adam still playing their game. Danny wondered how long it was going to go on.

"It's so hard not to stare at the honky-tonk badonkadonk," Adam said, following Lindsay into the building.

"You say it best when you say nothing at all."

"Little in the middle but she got much back."

"Why don't you kiss this? And I don't mean on my rosy red lips."

Adam started to laugh and Danny clapped.

"And it's Montana with the BOOM!" he exclaimed.

Lindsay and Adam looked and each other and snickered.

"Please tell me you think the same thing I do," Lindsay said. Adam just nodded before they broke out into high pitched singing.

"We like the cars, the cars that go boom!"

Danny turned and looked at Stella, whose eyes were almost bugging out of her head.

"Can we chuck their iPods in the river?"

"Done."

They were all laughing as they turned the corner near the reception desk and Lindsay stopped in her tracks. The color almost drained from her face and she looked completely floored.

"Linds?"

"I… I'll catch up with you guys," she stuttered, making her way towards the desk. Stella and Adam nodded and continued their conversation as they made their way to the elevators. Danny watched Lindsay as she walked up to a man wearing a cowboy hat. The guy was well over six feet tall, tan and muscular. He towered over Lindsay, but looked kind of frightened to see her.

"Cody. What are you doing here?" she asked, a hand on her hip.

"I just wanted to see you. I knew you were coming back for the trial, but I wasn't sure if you would have time, and then you left so soon, and I decided to just fly out here. I didn't really think it through, and it's sounding stupider the more I think about it."

"It's not stupid, Cody," she said, shaking her head. "I thought about seeing you too, but there was so much going on, I just couldn't do that too."

He nodded and took his hat off, wiping his forehead.

"Can we go somewhere and talk? My flight leaves tonight."

"I have to get back to work. I can give you a few minutes though."

"I just needed to tell you that I'm sorry. For everything. The fighting and the drinking and everything else. You never did anything to deserve that and I'm sorry I put you through it."

"I know you are. I forgave you a long time ago."

"I really did love you, Linds."

"I know you did. And I loved you too. But we got married for a lot of reasons that were not good reasons to get married. We never seemed to grow up past each other. In a lot of senses we were stuck at 16, that immaturity and all the other stuff we went through then. It's our fault, but it's not really our fault."

He nodded in understanding and she smiled up at him.

"You know you were the only one who ever told me that I could do this job. You supported me in that dream when no one else would. Yeah, we went through a lot of crap, but if it weren't for that, I don't think I would be here right now. I never thanked you for that."

"I never thanked you either. I started going to AA because of you. It saved my life. You saved my life, Lindsay."

"Guess we call it even then, huh?"

He chuckled with her and reached out for her hand.

"When I saw you on that witness stand, I saw how much you've changed."

"I didn't even see you there."

"I was in the back. Linds, you've changed so much from who you used to be. I looked into your eyes and didn't see the fear that used to be there all the time. You were confident and sure of what you were saying. And you were so sure of yourself too. You've always had that stubborn streak, but you've honed it into this beautiful woman that you are now. I just couldn't believe it."

"Thank you."

He smiled and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

"You put that guy away, Lindsay. You did something that no one else could do, and you started to heal our town. I don't know if you realize how much you've really done."

"I know, Cody," she said as tears sprang to her eyes.

"I should let you get back to work. Don't be a stranger next time you're in town, okay?"

"I won't. Give your parents a hug for me."

"I will. I love you, Lindsay."

It wasn't a confession of someone who wanted her back, but the simple statement of a lifelong friend. She smiled and stepped into the hug he offered.

"I love you too, Cody. Go home and be good."

He smiled and put his hat back on, tipping it in her direction as he headed out of the building. It wasn't much, but it was the last stitch of closure that she had so desperately been needing. She wiped her eyes and started to walk to the elevators, but Danny grabbed her elbow.

"Hey Montana, what just happened? You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm good."

"Who was that?"

She sighed deeply and her eyes went to the floor where they stayed until he lifted her chin.

"Want to go for a walk?"

"Okay."

They made their way back outside and wandered the streets pretty aimlessly for a while. It could have been an hour before they found themselves at the Seaport Museum. She hugged her jacket around her as they sat down on a bench looking out over the river, and he slid his arm around her shoulders.

"Who was that guy?"

She took a deep breath and bit her lip before she answered.

"Don't be mad at me for not telling you."

"I won't be mad at you."

"His name is Cody. Cody McKinstry. He's um… we were… Danny, he's my ex-husband."

"What?"

"I said don't be mad."

"I'm not mad, Lindsay. I'm just… what?"

"We grew up together. He was a year older than me. His sister was one of my best friends. Kelly. She was in the diner."

He nodded, starting to understand a little bit.

"He was coming to pick us up that night and he got there before the police did."

Tears slid down her cheeks as she remembered the most frightening thing that had ever happened to her. He didn't want her to keep telling him, but she forged ahead, wanting to get it all out.

"He found me behind the counter. And for days after, he didn't leave me. My house, his house, it didn't matter. We were there together. If it weren't for him, I don't know what would have happened to me. That dependence kind of evolved into a relationship. Neither one of us was mature enough for marriage, but we thought we were. We were both using each other to deal with our demons, and it became destructive and horrible. I fought hard for it, I wanted to make it work, but it just didn't. It lasted three years before we got a divorce. We never really said goodbye, we just faded away from each other. We were both so marked by that night that it became the defining thing in our relationship. We needed each other because of what happened, not because we really loved each other. Not in the way that a husband and wife should."

He nodded and wiped a tear off of her cheek. She hadn't told him everything, but it was enough for now, and the rest would come in time.

"How come you never told anyone?"

"I'm not really proud of the fact that I crapped out in a marriage, Danny."

"Hey. None of us would look at it that way."

"I know you wouldn't, but I do. It's just not something I talk about. And I was going to tell you. I felt like I should, but I wasn't ready yet."

"It's okay."

They sat quietly for a while, watching a storm roll in over the water.

"Why was he here?"

"He wanted to see me. Talk about the trial. Have closure. We kind of cleared the air."

"You still have feelings for him?"

"No. Not like that. I'll always have a place in my heart for him, but not because we were married. He's just… Kelly's big brother. Just like he used to be."

He nodded and reached for her hand, lacing their fingers together as lightning cracked across the sky and thunder rolled overhead.

"Spring storm," he commented as she rested her head on his shoulder.

"Yeah. Things are going to start blooming soon."

He planted a kiss on her forehead while the rain started to fall from the sky.

"I think they already are, Montana."


End file.
